I was perusing the Counter Currents site and came across some comments that struck me, they did so, because it is where I find myself. Trying to live life that is not conforming to the world trying to be Godly, trying to discover how people lived before this culture leaped to its death. My family too, like the first commenter is a mess, family members are married to West Indian women, a cousin is breeding with a Moroccan man, another cousin has mated with a Chinaman, marriage seems to be an afterthought. I wonder what my grandparents would think of what has become of us? What can I do? I don’t approve, and say so, but being shouted at and excluded doesn’t seem to work, so then I try to overlook the above, but I can’t stand it!
The first commenter Ugg states
‘For those of us who were raised by “liberated” women, around shallow, defeated men who had assimilated and succumbed to feminism’s direction and premises, there is no linear path back to orderly, archaic life and familial health. How do I keep my “family”–my loose biologically-related assortment of selfish, weak, deracinated individuals–and yet look ahead to one day building an authentic family? It’s a constant battle with parents and relatives who behold me passive-aggressively–do what you want, they indicate, but don’t upset the soothing rhythm of our PC brainwash cycles, or we’ll shriek and complain. Yet if I am to have what I regard as a real, worthwhile life and family, it would mean throwing out so much of their failed example. Approaching this gracefully but seriously is not a straightforward thing.’
And the reply by Juleigh Howard-Hobson is,
‘Ah, this is a topic worthy of an essay of its own. Thank you for bringing it up.
We have plenty of family members who see what we do as a threat to and vilification of them and their lives–(even back before we were married we were treated as if we were ridiculous to think of marriage and were advised to just live together so that we could avoid the later and inevitable divorce costs…we ignored those words. We will be married 20 years next July. Do the old words sting sometimes? Maybe, but it’s not us that is being stung).
Never forget this: we are re-forging old links to an ancient chain, we are re-marking pathways back to where we need to be as a folk; some of what we ask of ourselves will be repugnant to people who would prefer to live unhappily but easily within the system that is strangling their future. So be it. It is imperative not to obey ‘advice’ or give in to influences that you know are damaging; don’t even argue with them –just ignore them. If you can’t, then minimize contact with negative people, and even family members, who refuse to let you lead a real and worthwhile life and have a real and worthwhile family future. As hard as it is, sometimes many non-immediate family members (by this I mean non-spouse, non-child) must be avoided–it is a harsh reality and one not to be taken lightly, but, a reality nonetheless.
As people trying to preserve and/or revive an entire folk way that we never thought could be lost, we are left with many, many hard decisions. This doesn’t feel fair but…look where being soft led us. Try not to burn bridges (of course, that said, some bridges burn themselves). Approach each situation/family member problem as gracefully as you can, but firmly and with no quarter. If your family is like our families, you will be surprised at how many of these negative family members come around later on (some much later than others) and are genuinely happy to be reconnected. It’s an old saw, but it bears repeating: nothing succeeds like success.’
This has been something I have been thinking about on and off for some time, it is something I really don’t want to face, but know that I must at some point. Avoiding people, even family members seems to becoming more and more a necessity, I am getting tired of arguing, of debating with those who refuse to debate, to attempt to talk sense into those who do not recognise sense, I am tired of the snide remarks, the rubbing of ‘diversity’ in my face, I sick of the oh so hip ‘pro choice’ comments my brother seems to stick into every conversation we have, trying to get my to argue with him. It is infuriating!
So what to do? Avoid them all? I’m really not sure yet, but my thoughts increasingly drift in that direction, but the thing that stops me is if I am a ‘tory’, then I should not dissolve these natural ties of blood and affection, so what do I do?